Listening Agendas from Steve Shaffer

Good coaching begins with a willingness to set aside our own needs to benefit from our
conversations. When we stop trying to satisfy our need to have the answers, or be seen as wise,
or helpful then we can be fully present with others and fully invested in them. This willingness to
set aside our own needs (kenosis) takes shape in the two core skills of coaching: listening and
asking. In Catalyze Coach training, we talk about listening agendas. Listening agendas are the
subvocal meta thoughts that we filter our conversations through. Which of the following
listening agendas are often present in your conversations?
 I am the expert, I know more…
 I want to help you…
 I am confident that my ideas will solve your problems…
 I want you to like/respect/admire me…
 I need you to need me…
 I feel good about me when you feel good about me
 I want to have something to offer you…
When we filter our conversations through these self-interests, we hinder our ability to attend and
be present for others. Coach training prepares us to have self-emptying conversations with
others. Join us for the next Catalyze Coach training cohort.